Woman

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you make romance, you are an "experienced man"
If you don't, you are half a man
If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well-dressed, she says you are a play boy
If you aren't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she's late, she says "That's a girl's way"
If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel
If she is visited by another, "Oh, it's natural, we are girls!"
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her too many, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you fail to keep her in crossing the street, you lac ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics
If you stare at others, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by others, she says that they are just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk